I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
