..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This show inspires me to have sex in space
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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