i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
