I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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