My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
