How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
