I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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