I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
