its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
