If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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