The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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