I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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