i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
