Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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