um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
