in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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