i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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