They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
