i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
