I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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