Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
