Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
