You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We need to get me chipped asap
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
