I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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