Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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