He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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