haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
