i may or may not be watching the land before time
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
