I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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