He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I came so hard my ears popped.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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