My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
