There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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