i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
