Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
