i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
