who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sorry about my life...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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