i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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