sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
