is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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