do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
