loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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