the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
