Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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