Will you blow on my dice?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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