I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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