dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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