her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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