she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
this boner is exhausting
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
