??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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