No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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