Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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