his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
