East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Drunk is a universal language darling
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