whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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