How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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