Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
