Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
