I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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