I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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