Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
