Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
