she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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