You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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