i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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